1. |
The Dawn
04:32
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The dawn of a day anew
Gives hope to me and you
There's hope at dawn
We must keep going on
We are living through dark times
But we will be just fine
There's hope at dawn
We must keep going on
Pretty pink and blue, first light
Replacing the dark, grey night
There's hope at dawn
We must keep going on
Resist, persist, resist, persist
Resist
The dawn
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2. |
There's Still Time
03:50
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I was lacking the nerve to write
Now I’m asking if there’s still time
Everlasting is this urge we fight
It’s demanding that there’s still time
The sunrise, so brilliant, but elusive it slips away
Its colors, elastic, in a moment dissolve and fade
I was lacking the nerve to write
Now I’m asking if there’s still time
Everlasting is this urge we fight
It’s demanding that there’s still time
Your heart had been reeling from the cards you’d been dealt
You could have tried filling the void with something else
While you were feeling so sorry for yourself
You could have tried healing by helping someone else
I was lacking the nerve to write
Now I’m asking if there’s still time
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3. |
Bridges
04:12
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It’s the first thought getting out of bed
And the last thing at night in your head
Always wanting more
I guess I’ll cross that bridge when I come to it
And you’ll burn this bridge when you’re done with it
Always wanting more
Pay no mind,
Resigned to find no time
Feeling trapped in this life you didn’t choose
Try to laugh some more but in the end you lose
Always wanting more
Then there’s only your own selfishness to blame
It’s desire to win but then life’s not a game
Always wanting more
Pay no mind,
Resigned to find no time
Is this really what you chose to do?
Did you it then it’d be killing you?
Always wanting more
I guess I’ll cross that bridge when I come to it
And you’ll burn this bridge when you’re done with it
Always wanting more
Pay no mind,
Resigned to find no time
It’s the first thought getting out of bed
And the last thing at night in your head
Always wanting more
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4. |
Suicide Prevention
04:43
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You hate yourself, why can’t you sing?
Create a song, pour another drink
Self-medicate, it’s fine with me
Don’t end it all, do what you need
You can’t escape the memories
Of screaming and rage, write more melodies
Self-medicate, it’s fine with me
Don’t end it all, do what you need
Starve yourself, then drink your beer
Touch yourself, well there’s no one here
Self-medicate, it’s fine with me
Don’t end it all, do what you need
Take a hit, keep your buzz
Won’t hurt a bit ‘til tomorrow comes
Self-medicate, it’s fine with me
Don’t end it all, do what you need
You hate yourself, why can’t you sing?
Create a song, pour another drink
Self-medicate, it’s fine with me
Don’t end it all, do what you need
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5. |
The Void
04:20
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Uncontained, yet inside the rage, the rant
When you want to fix it but you can’t
You don’t know where to start
All you know is the void inside your heart
No solutions numb the pain
Loss, the anger you can’t contain
No disguise or hideaway
No solutions numb the pain
You can try to act like it’s not there
Have your mind pretend it doesn’t care
And smile the hate away
Yet inside it remains
No solutions numb the pain
Loss, the anger you can’t contain
No disguise or hideaway
No solutions numb the pain
Are we not agents of what we feel?
Do our minds just make up what is real?
I don’t know where to start
All I know is the void inside your heart.
You try to will the loneliness away
Get high to fill the void and numb the pain
Distract yourself and lie, say it’s okay
But inside you know it’s not, end of the day
Well inside you know it’s not, end of the day.
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6. |
Capable Wonder Loss
03:23
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Where have I let my mind go?
How do you get your mind to pause?
If only I could have known
The pain I’m capable to cause
I’m sorry
Forgive me
I’m guilty
The thing I think I most regret
Is letting go of what I had
It was the most amazing gift one could ever receive
And it is loss that makes us mad
I’m sorry
Forgive me
I’m guilty
We pass on what we learn
For better or for worse
We do it over and over again and again
Yet we still wonder why it hurts
I’m sorry
Forgive me
I’m guilty
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7. |
Far Too Long
03:09
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As hard as a peach pit, this lump in my throat
I’m scarred so be it, do I jump in this boat?
And admit out loud something’s gone wrong?
And I’ve known without doubt for far too long.
The monster is screaming, and rattles his cage
But no one can hear him while you battle his rage
You think someone will come and take care of you
But everyone’s numb and nowhere in view.
Well in the short term it’s easy, pretend it doesn’t exist
Ignore all the feelings, just don’t slit your wrist
But like debt or a lie, it’ll catch up to you
Forget and get high, but then what will you do?
As hard as a peach pit, this lump in my throat
I’m scarred so be it, do I jump in this boat?
And admit out loud something’s gone wrong?
And I’ve known without doubt for far too long.
Nothing’s spoken, but implied
Something’s broken inside.
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8. |
Out of Love
03:42
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You showed up
What’s the explanation?
Was it out of love or obligation?
Am I out of touch?
Is it my imagination?
Are we out of love?
Has the course been run, and now it’s done?
Like a ton of bricks,
I’ve hit the basement
Are you averse to risk?
Are you merely complacent?
If you had to pick,
Would you leave this place and
Give me a kick?
Find my replacement?
You’re my only one
I refuse your resignation
Don’t want to fight, debate, no negotiation.
Are we out of love?
Is this our obligation?
Are we out of touch?
Is it my imagination?
Are you out of love?
Out of love?
I’m not out of love, my love.
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9. |
Searching
02:56
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Are there no more words to write?
Are there no more chords to play?
Are there no more songs to sing?
Can we all afford not to dream?
File it away for another day.
Smile as you lay it aside for now.
And what do we all share?
We all want someone to care.
We’re all searching for meaning.
We’re all searching for some meaning.
We need beauty in our lives
Compassion, art, and love
What happens when they’re gone?
There’s an empty void in us all.
File it away for another day.
Smile as you lay it aside for now.
And what do we all share?
We all want someone to care.
We’re all searching for meaning.
We’re all searching for some meaning.
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10. |
Flooded
04:19
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Inundated
It’s complicated
A rush of information
Inundated
Stop and look inside
Nothing is simple
Your mind takes over
Your will doesn’t matter
Your mind takes over
Stop and look inside
Saturated
Yet fascinated
Flooded by complication
Saturated
Stop and look inside
Inundated
Inundated
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11. |
Hope
03:29
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Why do we hold on to these toxic things?
They only serve to poison us.
We hope for hope a new day brings.
Yes, they will judge, yet your will won’t budge.
There’s no avoiding ugly things.
Face up to it, damn your self-esteem.
You hope for hope a new day brings.
Others will talk. Will you fight or walk?
Why do we hold on to these toxic things?
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12. |
Just So
02:39
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Doing things that don’t need doing
Chasing dreams that just aren’t real
Dreaming big when all dreams end
And reality sets in
Just so tired
And running out of time
Losing my mind, wasting my time
I don’t know what I should do
Keep on breathing, take my pills
But reality sets in
Just so tired
And running out of time
So little hope yet so much effort
It’s just so much work just to live
You want to help yourself and others
But there’s nothing more to give.
Just so tired
And running out of time
Thinking only of the future
And past mistakes you can’t erase
Anything but now this moment and
Yet you wonder why
You’re so tired
And running out of time.
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13. |
All the Things
04:03
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Cicadas in June
Kissing under the moon
When it was good, it was nearly worth it
But is the good worth the bad?
All the memories we’ve had,
Now my confidence has eroded?
Your punching bag
A dumping ground
A landing pad
Your lost and found
All the things I’m not
All the things I’m not
You’ve done it before and you’ll do it again
And the sad thing is I’ll let you
But I know better than this
And you should know better too
Don’t bring me down with you
Your punching bag
A dumping ground
A landing pad
Your lost and found
All the things I’m not
All the things I’m not
A rock in my heart
Every time that you start
To destroy me with your anger
I can’t live like this,
But blame my cowardice
There’s got to be something better than
Your punching bag
A dumping ground
A landing pad
Your lost and found
All the things I’m not
All the things I’m not
Cicadas in June
Kissing under the moon
When it was good, it was nearly worth it
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14. |
A Good Run
03:02
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It’s your whole life in front of you.
Take care, it’s now in view
Cause I cannot see it through.
You keep knocking at my door.
I don’t answer, you ask for more.
What I used to love now is a bore.
It’s been a good run, but I know I’m done.
I know you’ve just begun, but I know I’m done.
I see tears flowing down your face,
An image I can’t erase.
But I can’t help in any case.
You’re being here takes the room
And you probably wrongly assume
That I care much more than I do.
It’s been a good run, but I know I’m done.
I know you’ve just begun, but I know I’m done.
I bend, bend, bend
Pretend I can endure.
I break, break, break.
I can’t fake it anymore.
It’s been a good run, but I know I’m done.
I know you’ve just begun, but I know I’m done.
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novvaa Saint Paul, Minnesota
Novvaa is the solo songwriting project of Victoria Malawey, a musician based in St. Paul, Minnesota. Driven by the belief we need more beauty, more art, more compassion in the world—now more than ever—Novvaa offers of songs of solace, remorse, pain, vulnerability, and hope. Novvaa’s sounds and words are intended to provide catharsis from the madness within and surrounding us. ... more
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